Feel First

Pichest

To satisfy the multiple requests for details about Kim's Thai massage classes (thanks to Eric Braha in particular!), she has put this entry together, just for you.

First, I championed the two week Beginner’s Thai Massage Course at Sunshine Massage School. I was the best. I was returning home to become a Thai massage guru, open a franchise, teach workshops and design my custom-made organic Thai Masage Mats.

Now, five weeks later, after studying with Thai massage master, Pichest Boonthumme, I’m back at square one. Or maybe square A, the square before square one. There are few things in this world as simultaneously invigorating and torturous as learning from a true master.

Instead of being in class surrounded by students who have equal or even non-existent experience in Thai massage, I entered a class full of therapists who have been doing Thai massage for years, and who come back year after year to study with Pichest for weeks or months at a time. No longer was I the big fish in a little pond. After I got over being intimidated by my fellow students and actually talking to them, what I found interesting was that these people who I considered experienced practitioners came to Pichest’s class with a beginner’s mind, open to learning (ok, maybe not all of them, there was that one arrogant French man, but ah, I digress). The students and Pichest as well taught me humility, that you can always learn more, that it’s not really fair to yourself or others to expect to become a master in your trade, even after a couple years of practice (maybe not until, like Pichest, you’ve been practicing Thai massage for over 20 years!) I learned that this is why Pichest doesn’t offer his students certificates in Thai Massage. Apparently when one student asked him why he didn’t, he laughed and told them to come back after they have practiced Thai massage on a thousand people, and maybe then they could be “certified” Thai massage practitioners.

Pichest’s teaching style and philosophy are completely different from any class I’ve ever taken before. Even at Sunshine Massage School it was the standard Lesson 1, Lesson 2, Lesson 3, and so on, where you learn one technique after another. Thai massage, unlike most massage, follows a set sequence which one rarely strays from. I was quite proud of myself for memorizing all the steps in the sequence, and could’ve easily gone on to do the same sequence over and over on every client for years to come — just like the vast majority of Thai Massage practitioners. So coming to Pichest’s class was quite a shock because his philosophy is “Don’t follow the sequence. Don’t follow technique. Don’t follow your head, follow your heart. Don’t think… feel. Follow Feeling.” Feel. Feel. Pichest rarely teaches techniques, he teaches the art of feeling and sensing. Feel the client’s body, feel where there is tension and tightness and work there. Don’t waste your time following the sequence and working on areas that don’t need to be worked. Most days, Pichest doesn’t even do a demo. We start the day with meditation and chanting, then Pichest does a Dharma talk. After that, he tells us “Ok, work.” And with no demonstration and no direction, you’re supposed to feel your way through a massage with your partner. Honestly, on the first day of class that seriously pissed me off. I spent the whole massage not knowing what to do, getting more and more frustrated, then finally I broke down crying and decided never to return to class. I confided this to my friend Elizabeth who had been coming to study with Pichest for years. She told me “Honey, almost everyone cries on their first day, I certainly did. Just stick with it and it will get better.” Coming from such an amazing Thai Massage therapist who now teaches her own workshops back home gave me hope. I returned the next day and the next, and this first experience taught me one of Pichest’s most important lessons: Let go of your ego. So with my new lesson, I sometimes managed to get out of my head, stop thinking about what I was doing, and actually feel what I was doing.

Having hurt his own body after years of doing Thai massage 10 hours a day, always following the sequence, Pichest is adamant about using your body correctly. He tells us “No Buffalo Work!” meaning don’t use your muscle strength. Instead, relax, breathe, and use your body weight. It’s amazing how much easier massage is now. Instead of being exhausted, body aching, and pouring sweat from every pore in my body, I can easily do 3 hours of massage on a client and actually feel more energized afterwards.

Before you get the idea that Pichest is some touchy-feely, flaky guru-fruitcake, let me set the record straight. He actually reminds me very much of my gruff, hard-ass maternal grandpa, Mas Kido who nicknamed me “Bakatare” (Japanese for stupid-head). On the surface he seemed so strict and mean, but was really totally loveable and had a big heart. Same with Pichest… he can seem so intimidating at first (and some people never get past that perception of him), but after being around him for awhile, I really just started to love him.

During his Dharma talks, Pichest sits at the front of the classroom chain smoking, and if a student asks a “stupid question,” he grabs a big wooden cane and dramatically pretends to beat them with it. If you’re working on your partner and doing something incorrectly or doing “buffalo work,” he’ll come over to you and shout “Terrible! Terrible!” and smack whichever of your limbs has committed the terrible offense. Then he’ll yell instructions at you in broken English, making you flustered because you don’t understand, and making him frustrated because he can’t figure out why you don’t understand. He’ll shout vague instructions like “Up your knee!” Well, which knee? Does he mean that I need to move my knee up toward the sky, or just lift my knee off the ground? No, he means that I should move my knee up closer to my partner’s head. Duh. “Move the arm!” My arm? My partner’s arm? Which of my partners’ arms? Move it where? And on and on. Sometimes you get it, sometimes not. If not, he’ll just laugh at you. And you’ll laugh too because if you don’t laugh at yourself, you’ll probably break down crying again, and that’s just too embarrassing. He’s never mean, just humorously bewildered at Western people’s apparent inability to get out of their heads, stop trying so hard, stop thinking, and feel first. He says “Farang (Thai word for foreigner), Super Headache!” Speaking of broken English… Pichest has a handful of phrases and words that really don’t make sense until you’ve been with him for awhile. For a full two weeks, I tried to figure out what he was talking about when he would be telling us to be careful not to work too much or too hard on a particular area because it’s “easy to get information.” What on earth does that mean? Information about what? I finally figured out that what sounded like “information” was actually “inflammation.” I also wasn’t sure how to interpret “Make good killing”, but I think it means to do a technique that can hurt someone… I think. He always yells “Relak! Relak!” reminding you to relax. And don’t forget to breathe… he shouts “Inhale! Outhale!” If you think too much, worry too much or do anything too much, you have “a backpack.” One day he was shouting vague instructions to a student who wasn’t doing something correctly. He kept yelling “Up the bum!” (meaning that the student needed to lift his butt off the floor for more leverage), and “He can take it!” (meaning that his partner could take lots of pressure). The student wasn’t getting it, so Pichest started yelling over and over “ He can take it! He can take it… up the bum!” My partner and I started laughing hysterically, but I don’t think the other student and his partner thought it was too funny as they were a pair of very heterosexual guys.

Pichest will tell us stories about how if you’re going hiking through the forest, you need to be very careful if you go “pee-pee” on a tree because spirits sleep in trees, and they will be very mad if you go “pee-pee” on them while they’re sleeping and will cause trouble for you. If someone is sleepy in class, he asks them “Too much discoteque? Too much Bar Beer?” He tells them to stay away from “wish-key” (whiskey) and Ladyboys (the infamous Thai transvestites). Then he laughs and laughs. Yes, he is a total nut, but a fabulous, inspiring, and very wise nut. Between the talk of transvestites and peeing on tree spirits, his Dharma talks focus on love, compassion, and the importance of helping others less fortunate than ourselves. Every day he tells us to “Pray to Papa. Pray to Mama. Because Papa and Mama are like God. They give you life. They take care you, so you take care them.” His Dharma talks (along with our meditation and chanting) often last for half the class, which may seem to leave little time for actual studying of Thai massage, but to him, the two are inseparable. He teaches that in order to be a good massage therapist, one must meditate, be compassionate and grateful, and to learn to be truly present with your clients, and everyone in your life for that matter. This is what separates good massage therapists from great massage therapists. This is why many massages are unfulfilling even when they are technically great… because so much of a massage is about the energy of the therapist, and how present they are during the massage.

Each day has become easier, then more frustrating, then I think I get it, and then I’m back to feeling completely lost, and so on and so forth, week after week. I am realizing that this is what true learning is. It will be interesting to see what I remember once I get home. I’m going to need a lot of practice, so let me know if anyone has a body that I can borrow. But you’ll have to be patient with me… remember, I’m learning!

Love
Kim(&Dan)

pete posted on 2008-03-12 at 3:45 am

cool diary entry. i love the guy. perfect.

---

Auntie Wendy posted on 2008-03-02 at 3:37 pm

P.S. I hope everyone washes their feet well before their sessions!!

---

Auntie Wendy posted on 2008-03-02 at 3:30 pm

Oh Kim, what a wonderful opportunity. I don't think you give yourself enough credit though. Having been introduced to and reminded of a more spiritually intune approach to life, I know what you are saying about frustration. However, I could truly feel that you have that internal gift whenever you practiced regular massage on me. You always tried to tune in on what my needs were at the time and the results were amazing. My shoulder doesn't hurt like it used to, but my neck is a different story these days so definitely, count me in for some Thai massage sessions. What a wonderful experience for you. You look tremendously peaceful and I know you've learned much about yourself. This experience will help with the daily travails of life. So glad you're doing this. Look forward to hearing all about it when you return. Love, hugs and kisses.

---

Auntie Tami posted on 2008-03-02 at 7:56 am

My laughter and tears are all mushed together this morning. Your stories are so wonderfully funny and your memories of Papa Mas made me miss him so much. I love you. Thanks for letting me go on this adventure with you.

---

Dan Dad posted on 2008-02-28 at 1:02 pm

Thanks Kim for describing in detail your trials and tribulations of learning Thai massage. You're such a good writer that I felt your frustration and euphoria while learning from a master. And the humor in the language disconnect was hilarious. I commend you for staying with the lessons even when you felt less than adequate. I look forward to your coming home, and practicing on me. I'm sure you will have a multitude of people willing to lend you their bodies. I would like to take some classes on Thai massage in the near future. I'm at work now, it's massage day, and my patient just walked in. I must be present for her, and so I must sign off. Be well, take care of Daniel, and goodbye for now.

---

Mom posted on 2008-02-26 at 10:42 pm

That looks awesome. I can't wait to volunteer for my special Thai Massage. And maybe borrow a cat to try that stretch on. So many amazing changes you two have gone through in the last 7 months,then I look at my own experiences in these last 7 months and not much has changed here. Enjoy the rest of this wonderful time. See you soon. With love, hugs and kisses. oxoxoxoxox

---

beth posted on 2008-02-26 at 9:55 am

Amazing! You both are awesome. I can't help but thinking of "holding space"...aka Swiha...as you speak about being present. You should come back, teach and show them a few new moves girlie. And sign me up. I've always wanting to try thai massage and still haven't. Perhaps I've been waiting just for you! Safe journeys and thanks for your journal. It's a nice escape from Phoenix-land! peace and love

---

katerina posted on 2008-02-23 at 9:20 pm

kimi!!! so good to hear your words! i'm pretty sure i love pichest like crazy and would LOVE to meet him! as usual, you just painted such an alive picture of your experience...i love it. i'm so excited for you. i've been in love with the idea of thai massage since i knew it existed and i STILL have never had it! and second of all.........are you insane?!! "if anyone has a body i can borrow"? yeh, i'm sure you're going to have trouble getting volunteers .......but just know that i'm always willing to help a friend in need and if you need me to stay with you and be your in-house practice body, i think that i would volunteer myself for you 24 hours a day ;)

---

Nash! posted on 2008-02-23 at 11:09 am

So wait... there is no spoon?

---

RSS Feed Subscription